Making Hard Decisions as Parents

Here are some basic principles for making hard decisions, submitted for our edification by Tim Kane. Please read and be encouraged!

When faced with a parenting decisions, use these principles to help think rightly about what choice you should make.

1. Principle of Expedience. Will it be spiritually profitable? Does it bring me closer to God or closer to the world? Will it cultivate godliness? Will it benefit me? (1 Cor 6:12 -- All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.) If you child is willing to sin or be sinful to get/do what they want you must not allow them. Young people do NOT understand the principal of moderation, it is all or nothing. Think of a dog attached to a choker chain that repeatedly chases a cat. It runs full speed until it reaches the end of the chain and then is snapped back off its feet. This is true of anything; movies, games, toys, friends. In all things, seek the Lord’s wisdom for discernment and a gentle prompting spirit to help you child through the situation.

2. Principle of Edification. Will it build me up? (1 Cor. 10:23 -- all things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.) We are slaves to our bodies…sleep, food, etc. and we need to train ourselves to be disciplined. Do the most difficult task first, Start with being on time; not forgetting; picking up after yourself… Say "NO" when you have every right to say "yes;" order water at a restaurant instead of soda…. (First Cor. 9:24-27 -- Do you know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; But I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.)

3. Principle of Excess. Will it slow me down in the race? (Hebrews 12:1-3 -- Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.) Do you/your children carry unnecessary baggage/bulk?

4. Principle of Enslavement. Will it bring me into bondage? (1 Co 6:12 -- see above) television, drink, drugs, food, tobacco, music, sports, money, coffee…Does/will it control me?

5. Principle of Equivocation. Will it hypocritically cover my sin? (lust, evil desire) what is the motivation; ask God to reveal any secret hidden sin in yours/their lives. (Gal 5:13 -- for we were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another; 1 Peter 2:16 -- Act as free men and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as a bondslaves of God.)

6. Principle of Encroachment. Will it violate the lordship of Christ in my life? Will it violate or suppress your conscience? (Rom 14:2 -- One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables only.) You start with a clean slate in regards to conscience, what are you writing, allowing them to write on it? Keep in mind, wrong behavior is merely the outworking of a sinful heart. Don't just deal with the behavior, deal with the heart.

7. Principle of Example. Will it help other Christians by its example? The patterns, habits and actions in your life are being watch by other believers. (1 Cor 8:9 -- But take care this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.)

8. Principle of Evangelism. Will it lead others to Christ? (1 Cor 10:27-29 -- If one of the unbelievers invites you and you want to go, eat anything that is set before you without asking questions for conscience sake. But if anyone says to you “This meat sacrificed to idols” do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for conscience sake; I mean not your own conscience, but the other man’s; for why is my freedom judged by another’s conscience?)

9. Principle of Emulation. Will it please Jesus? Would Christ say this ???? or do this ???? (1 John 2:6 -- the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.)

10. Principle of Exaltation. Will this lift up His holy name? (1 Cor 10:31 -- Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do ALL to the glory of God.)